Fuk! Spent da whole nite working my guts out..was a lil pist simply cos they called mi at da 11th hour jus to work overnite shift @ Clementi. Wot to do..i'm in nid of marnee. i needa pay off my bills & debts. i dun mind being tired out cos MONEY makes da world goes round & can even turn it upside down.

It's Saturday..have a date wif my darling jo @ her dad's pub's opening. Gotta get my ass down tonite & get wasted! Tonite wud prolly be a fun nite i reckon. =\

Darling jo, take things slow, sort out ya thinkings. i noe u're @ a lost, ya mind's in a whirl but take ya time my dear. Things might have a change. Maybe miracles? *yiyi sings..." always look on da bright side of life..-whistles whistles-"* i lurve ya my dear gurl. Woteva is da outcome, u gotta be strong & stand up. Look..u've been by my side since those shiets happened to mi & him(u noe who). u were da one who woke mi up frm dreams & brought mi back to reality. *HUGS* if ya nid a shoulder to cry on, i'm here for u. All of our sistas are here for ya k? Do u noe something, actually crying out DO make u feel better & ya emotions wud jus flow. It's true, but i'm not encouraging u to cry. LOL. Btw, it's mi who had left a deep impression on him, not mi. Thou i noe him longer but tat doesn't mean anything rite? Jus like mi & u. i've onli known u for about 3 months & we're close, ain't we? Smile darling!! =D

Zouk was fun last nite!! Many peeps around!! Peeps like Xin, Aaron, Amos, Haze, Blurkid, brandon & gf, NOT excluding Roy & our birthday girl Kailin!! Linz's frens were around too. =D

#Serangoon bros were around too cos i passed them da xtra invites tat i had in hand.

As usual jo, weiren & i were present. Sean, Kes & Kegen were down too. Same old bunch of mates! Fun nite man!

Was almost gone last nite cos i had 3 shots of Sambucca continuously & played some games with ahbeng, so i had a lil drop too much.

Thomas sms-ed mi asking mi whether i'm at Zouk. My replied was definitely YES! How cud i miss Mambo Jumbo Nites? LOL!! So i went to look for him in a VERY tipsy state. Eventually, he sent mi home. We sat downstairs for awhile till around 6.40am den i suggested he might as well sleep over. i bunked wif my sis while he slept on my precious bed. =\ but nvm, he took da trouble to send mi home even thou he lives in Clementi. Thanx pal! Knew him for quite a few years already but seldom meet up with each other. Both busy with each other's lives. But at least we remembered each other! *cheerios*

Went Madam Wong on Monday nite wif darling jo, kiattie, colin, xiaodi & his fren. Coincidently, songsong was there. His fren's birthday yeah. Yup..he's high..& he's troubled. Tried my best to comfort him. Yeah i noe..pot calling da kettle black! cos i myself can't even get over da shiets tat's happening. But well, i'm on my road of recovery..i hope so. *smiles*

Dave came but he can't get in. DAMN DA BOUNCERS!! =X

Anyway, haf fun there wif all da retros, r'n'bs, house, trance muzik. simple ROJAK style! Our bottle hasn't finish..so i think i'm going back for more to finish it up! hohoho! =D~~

YAY!!! It's my hao jiemei..Kailin's 19th Birthday!! Hereby wishing her Happy 19th Birthday & Happy 2nd Anniversary wif her guy, Chris! We'll be down Zouk for some clubbing sessions! Gonna get wasted & dance our limbs out! hurhurhur! *HUGS + KISSES* linz!!

Looking forward to Sat where can get my arse down to Zone-X to chill & drink!! Wonderful!! Happening!! i gotta keep myself busy jus to numb myself bah. i will tell myself to stand up & walk on my own..hopefully surrounded wif my sistas & close frens. u guys noe who u are!! i lurve u guys! *MUAK*

Time to snooze..store some energy for later's use! so...WASSUP BABIES!!! =P *waves*

jo jus told mi, vin sms-ed her to ask mi to go down to centro & asked jo to tell mi tat he still wans mi. im getting confused & lost over here. He even added tat if i dun get down he will jue jiao wif mi. this is making my heart ache so much. it's even more pain than being stabbed. i got changed & everything, preparing to get outta da house even thou i noe i will get fuked verbally by my parents but i dun gif a fuking damn cos i still haf feelings for him. tat's a fact tat can't be changed. i asked jo to ask him where is he & how is he going home. he replied, "i got hooked.. and a girl is sending mi home" tat hurts ALOT.

u guys may think i'm some stupid & naive gurl. fine. it's alrite.

he stands a special place in my heart. i dun remember how we got close. he seems like an angel fallen frm heaven to let mi feel loved but he was taken back to heaven 2 weeks ago. maybe i disappointed him too much. i clubbed too much & got drunk too many fuking times. i felt insecure. i'm over-sensitive. i dun realli considered abt his feelings. Thou we haf not gone thru much, those are da memories. i'm still keeping da smses he sent mi. those sweet mesges tat melts my heart totally. he touched mi. it took mi lotsa courage to like him cos i was hurt in my previous relationship. my mind's in a whirl. i shall update more later if tots flow thru my mind.

Some lyrics quoted frm da song "Wo Bu Fu" by Zhou Jun Wei
- wo zhe ci bu yi ding neng kang fu. liang ge ren ying yi ge ren shu. you kuai le jiu you ku. wo xin zhong you shu. ai jiu zhe me jie su wo bu fu. ni song wo yi fen gu du dang fen shou li wu -

"Wo Ai Ni" by Zhou Jun Wei
- wo ye bu zhi zhe shi ze me yi hui shi. wo de qing xu wei she me hu gao you hu di. cong lai bu zai yi ming yun ru he de gui yi. zhi dao you ni chu xian zai wo shen ming. jiu xiang piao zai tian kong na yi ke liu xing. jing jing deng dai qian wan nian yi ci de yue ding. ku ye yuan yi sha ye yuan yi. dou ke yi -

"Wo Zhi Dao Ni Hen Nan Guo" by Jolin Tsai Yi Lin
- ai yi ge ren xu yao yuan fen. gan qing de fu chu bu shi zhen xin jiu hui you jie guo. zuo tian shi lian ren jing tian shuo fen shou jiu fen shou. bie wen ni de tong yao ze me jie tuo -

"Purest Of Pain" by Son by Four
- da courage tat i nid to leave. da air tat i breathe. my world's become so empty. da days are so cold & lonely. each nite i taste da purest of pain -

"Wang Le Ying Cang" by Andy Lau
- wo yi zhi dou yi wei ke yi. neng ba ni qing yi de wang ji. zhi shi ni de bei ying yi zhi hai zao wo xin di. tian tian xiang ni. ye ye ku qi. bu neng zi ji. xiang yao tao bi. yi jing lai bu ji. shuo she me hai cao dao tian ji. shuo she me jing shen wo bu li. ni de yi zi yi qu yi zhi pai hui zai xin di. tian tian xiang ni. ye ye hui yi. yan lei zai ji xu. ying gai fang qi. zao ge ren dai ti. gao su wo ru he ba ni wang. gao su wo ru he ba ni ying cang. fang zai wo de xin shang. mei you ai mei you si nian de di fang. gao su wo wo gai ze me cang. gao su wo ru he ba ni yi wang. suo wei di lao tian hua. zhi shi rang yi ge ren gu gu dan dan. rang yi ge ren xin huang -

"Angel" by Amanda Perez
- left without a word. nothing to say. & i was da one who gaf u my heart & soul. but it wasn't gud enuff for u. send mi an angel to heal my broken heart for being in love. cos all i do is cry. send mi an angel to wipe da tears frm my eyes. & i noe i might sound crazy. but afterall tat i still love u -

Da lyrics expressed wot i'm feeling right now.

Sat 21/11 : met up wif Daniel & jo to slack @ One Fullerton but ended up @ jo's dad's pub wif some kiat, colin, gregory & david. Dave joined us later.

Fri 20/11 : Went Centro for some Gatecrasher-ing. My mates left early so i'm all alone. i partied till 6am. Closing time. hurhur. Tat's my 1st visit to Centro. Had a great nite. i simply luv da seh-ness! ORGASM!

Fri 13/11 : Down @ Madam Wong together wif Eunice, my cousin & her hubby, kiat, colin & his fren, & xiaodi. Tat's da day he told mi tat everything's over. Yes..i'm damn fuking down. so i jus wanted to get wasted & yep. i was so wasted tat my cousin-in-law had to carry mi outta Madam Wong. Thou some of da times my tears flowed it was great to haf company. i cried on Eunice, my cousin & kiat. They consoled mi but it jus hurts alot (to da power of infinity) Thanx bros! Next time find new game to play okie? =)

im missin u..but i reckon it's useless, cos u've lost da feeling. *gloomy*

Hehs..my 1st visit to Centro rawks my world. Progressive Trance! I LOVE IT! Went wif Michie, miki, June, William, Huanbin & Ah Soon. We're simply raving away! Simply rawks! All left ard 3+ & i'm left alone in Centro. Kinda saddening but it's okie. =) i walked outta Centro ard 6am. Kickass!

Anyway, so fuk up. Jus got some nagging frm my parents, FUK IT!

No mood to blog. Try to think of wot to blog later on den.

Jus when i nid someone by my side..tat someone left mi. i reckon it's bcos of my character, my stubborness, my rebellion behaviour. i can't help it but tears jus flow..

Jus back frm Zouk! hurhur. many peeps ard! i went wif darling jO, Weiren & his frens, & michie. miki came later. As usual, Kegen boss is down together wif Michelle but she left before 12. Sean & Kes were ard too! Happening yeah! #serangoon bros were down too, together with Felicia, Grizelle & kopi. Happened to saw some ex secondary skool mates in there. Such a coincidence. hurhur!

Had Bah Kut Teh for supper. darling jO treated everyone of us. Total of 9 peeps! My nice darling! Luv ya gurl! *MUAK*

i mentioned something shietty happened da past few days..i will post it later up for i think i jus wanna feel my spirits high at da moment! Will update on wot shiets happened. Try to make it a habit to visit my blog yeah? HAHA! =P

Think i skrued up my bloggie html / java thingie. duhs! =.= Shall try to fix it ASAP. Bear wif it peeps!

Ciaos mates!!

Down Zouk later for some party..lotsa shiets happened da past few days. Shall bring in more updates later. =\

*wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee* i'm jus so excited & ecstatic!! My bestest pal is on da plane NOW!! I'll be seeing her in about a few hours time! i miss her sooooooooooo much man! i guess i'll be hugging her thruout da journey back to her house! i simply adore her! I LUV U EUNICE !! It's been 2 years since i last saw her in Singapore. i missed those times we spent together chilling out. This time round i'm gonna make her trip back here UNFORGETTABLE! *MUAK*

i've set my mind to cut down on my clubbing sessions. It's time for mi to wake up & set goals for myself. i'm gonna be strong, independent & happy as can be! i will be da same old yiyi he once knew. Yes..i like him more than he likes mi. But i'm fine wif it. All i ask for is someone who dotes on mi. i'm giving myself some time to change & i hope he'll haf faith in mi even thou if it's a lil. =) Scrolling thru da smses he sent mi, i noe he cares about mi. i can sense it. i'm not gonna let u down vin. & i'm not gonna let Eunice, linz & jo down! There'll be a change in mi!

Heading down Zouk later for some party. It's Sean's birthday! Gonna be happening! i'll bring in more updates later mates! Ciaos!! ^^

i jus talked to jO on da fone. Wasn't feeling gud inside of mi. Yeah, he's on my mind again. jO was saying tat he's receiving & not giving. So woteva i did for him were unrequitted. i think i'm taken for granted, jO thinks da same way too. Am i...? *shrugs*

jO was saying tat maybe i shud move on as vin seems unbothered about mi. Why da fuk am i thinking about all these man?! Why da fuk do i tend to think alot?! Why da fuk am i so sensitive?! i'm realli at a lost. i realli dunno wot da hell shud i do. *bangs head* i nid guidance..someone pls help me >.<~~

i'm listening to this particular song, Destiny by Jordan Hill.

what if i never knew
what if i never found you
i'd never have this feeling in my heart

how did this come to be
i don't know how you found me
but from the moment i saw you
deep inside my heart i knew

baby your my destiny
you and i were meant to be
with all my heart and soul
i give my love to have and hold
and as far as i can see
you were always meant to be my destiny

i wanted some one like you
someone that i could hold on to
and give my love until the end of time

but forever was just a word, just a word
something i'd only heard about
but now your always there for me
when you say forever i'll believe

baby your my destiny
you and i were meant to be
with all my heart and soul
i give my love to have and hold
and as far as i can see
you were always meant to be my destiny

maybe all we need is just a little faith
cause baby i believe that love will find a way

baby your my destiny
you and i were meant to be
with all my heart and soul
i give my love to have and hold
and as far as i can see
from now until eternity
you were always meant to be....
my destiny
Your my destiny

Da lyrics are meaningful to mi but i guess he doesn't even appreciate these kinda genre of songs. i reckon he won't noe how i feel. He hasn't realli ever open himself up to mi & perhaps he won't. i dunno. i'm clouded wif lotsa contradicting & ironic tots in my head. i realli hope we cud work it out..frm da bottom of my heart. =\

Back frm my clubbing session. Went Dbl-o first. Met up wif hantu & ahbeng down there. Played 5-10 wif ahbeng. He's as noob as mi. HAHA! Saw Peishan & Ben, my sec skool seniors there. Stayed a lil while & went over to Zouk. Samuel signed mi in so i din hafta pay any cover. *smiles* Talked to him & Sonny for awhile & bugged them for a complimentary card. hehe. i feel so mean. LOL. Saw miki, June & Terence there. A pity michie's not around wif us to party. As usual, kegen's down too. =) We danced to da progressive trax! Tat simply rawks my world! Oh, i oso taught June how to play 5-10. She got so enthusiastic over it. So cute sial!

Went over to SOS frm Zouk to meet up wif jO to go home together. Fight going on. Police everywhere. Turn-off.

Vin sms-ed mi a couple of times but i can't reply him. It's not very nice to borrow peep's fone to reply msges yeah..so i din reply. It's not tat i dun wanna reply but it's kinda not nice u see. i'm realli sorry for not replying. =( But eventually, i borrowed Terence's fone to make a call to him. Asked him to come over Zouk to bring mi for some supper cos i was hungry but he's on his way home. He says tat he's kinda sleepy. He sounded thou. Sometimes i dunno wot am i to him. i'm getting a lil confused. Sometimes i feel so unimportant to him but outta da blue he'll be so sweet & nice to mi. i realli dunno. My mind's in a whirl. i dunno wot are we. We're close but not to a couple's extend. i've realli got no idea. Yes..i like him & yet i dunno how he feels about mi. Maybe i'm jus insignificant to him. Maybe i'm over-sensitive. Maybe i'm jus a pawn in his game. i admit i'm insecure. Given his qualities, he cud get any gurl he wans. i noe he changed but i nid assurance, He doesn't seem to gif mi tat assurance tat i nid. Might it's due to his exams period tat he doesn't wanna think much into relationships. i think i'm not understanding & gud enuff for him. But i'm willing to gif it a shot to be more understanding to his nids. i'm not kidding..i'm serious about it. =\

im going Dbl-o later. i noe i shudn't go clubbing. i noe vin's a lil disappointed in mi. Yes..i promised him i'll cut down my clubbing sessions but seems like i didn't. im sorry vin but i guess he won't accept my sorries. Sighs. Feels so down & bad, ARGH! *cries* =(

Hehs..jus got back home frm Zouk. House muzik rawks man! They had this free flow of dunno wot new drink. Tasted horrible. Think it's a mixture of beer & champagne. Yuks! LOL. Everyone of us were like saying da drinks realli sux! HAHA. Was definitely high man! Had too much Valium in mi. hurhur. Tat brought mi to a higher state of conciousness & was sorta raving away. =D Oh..bumped into my cousin Ash jus now partying away wif her gurlfrens.

Feeling rather lethargic. Worked overnite @ Clementi on Thursday nite till Friday 9am.

He's always on my mind. Regardless whether i'm out clubbing or at home sleeping.

*mind wanders off to vinvin* missing him so much.. =(

*woots* jus got outta da bathroom. Had a long & nice shower. hehehe. Feels so guuuuuuud! Came home frm work. Was working overnite @ Clementi's branch. Lucky it was a quiet & peaceful nite for mi. hurhur.

Met up wif darling jO for awhile jus now. Went to try afew pieces of clothings. i set my eyes on 2 dresses & went to try it. darling jO said both looked gud on mi..which i reckon so too. HAHA! One was a pink sleeveless dress & i looked exactly like a skool gurl but pink is too gurlish for mi. *rolls eyes* Da other one was a black dress. It was kinda sophisicated. ( Tat's according to darling jO ) In fact, i prefer da black one. Think i'm getting it if i've got da cash. Currently i'm damn pist-broke. *whines* =\

Went Mambo on Wednesday as usual. Was kinda boring for mi tat nite cos my clubbing mates ain't around wif mi. *sadded* i stood at a corner & smoked my life away. Went out to talk to one of da bouncers & got his number. HAHA! Next time can try to get free invites or maybe preveilege card! =D But was surprised to see Aaron, Zen & Jiawang there. Carl came down to look for us for supper after Mambo & we proceed to da "famous" bah kut teh nearby. i din eat cos i was having cold turkey. Too much Valium in mi already. Congrats to him man! He got back his license already. hahaha. But heard frm him tat he jus came out frm DB..Detention Barracks, for AWOL cos he din go for his reservice. He claimed tat he has forgotten all abt it. Dumb boi! LOL!! =X Anyway, he was kind enuff to send us to Hougang & i slept over at tat fren's place.

Think i better go rest. Heading down Zouk later! Yeah..another nite of clubbing! Hmms..*mind wanders to vinvin* poor bendan still having exams & can't club but he's got da clubbing mood! Gud gracious bendan! *smacks ya pigu!!* muehehe! =P Sayangs nar..after exams den go club nor. Haiis..kinda worried for him or rather da results of his exams. i dun wan him to flunk any modules & get himself retained. It's realli a waste of time man! But he doesn't even realli noe a single shit of his own work..hope things wud work out REAL fine for him. *huggies vinny*

By da way..my best pal, Eunice is coming back soon! 5 more days Eunice!! 5 MORE DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYS! *jumps ard ecstatically* Wo deng zhe ni hui laiiiiiiiii! Wo deng zhe ni hui laiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ! HEE! Come come...cheem yi ge! *MUAK* (."(",)

O.o~ hehs. Spent Sunday nite at michie's place wif darling jO, Yash & Gibbson. Din sleep a wink! Was a toking cok session. Din expect da session wud last till da next morning cos michie gotta work! It's her 1st day of work afterall man! Got home last morning & onli went to bed slightly before 12 noon. KO-ed for some straight 8 hours. Was realli tired. Called up CentraMed to ask whether they've got Full-time vacancies available but they onli had Part-time slots for mi. Well, i couldn't care less & jus took up da slot. So i'll be at da AMK branch later in da evening at 6pm till 9pm. Da journey wud definitely be a BIG turn-off for mi! But wot to do..i'm in nid of some hard cold cash! i'll haf pretty more slots coming in for mi! Rite now it's time to go! *slumbers to bed!* Missing ya Vinvin!

i'm pist at my younger sis whom skrewed my PC & settings jus now! Still got da cheek to deny!! BALLS TO HER! *middlefinger*

My tears flowed. i onli cry when i'm fustrated. HELL YEAH..i'm fustrated..daddy jus came into da room & nagged at mi for nothing! Expectedly, i picked up a quarrel. Hey..it's weekend. Can't i sleep at a later time? It's not as if i've got work later or wot! Complaining about my late nites out as usual..wot da fuk man! SO WOT I'M A FEMALE! AIN'T I OLD ENUFF TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF? AIN'T I OLD ENUFF TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS & WOT I'VE DONE? He said.." If u think this kinda nite life suits u..go ahead. i won't bother much anymore. " Since he said tat den why da hell he come bother mi wif such shit! i may seem stubborn but i noe wot i'm doing! YES..I'M A FUKING REBELLIOUS GAL! Dun irritate mi wif such shits. i jus fuking destest it! CALL MI IMMATURE OR WOTSOEVA..I DUN GIF A FUKING DAMN SHIT ABOUT IT! Da more he wans mi to stay home..da more i'll be out & coming home AS LATE AS I COULD! Thou i noe i'm living my life like hell, bumming my days away, without a job, no income, club like no one else's business, but look, DUN FUKING INTERFERE INTO MY LIFE! There's something about mi..i jus can't accept remarks frm parents. i simply hate tat shit! i listen to my frens a hell lot! Tat's why wheneva i've got a problem, i'll turn to my frens instead of my own parents. i dunno why issit this way..it might be their way of upbringing mi tat allows mi to think tat parents ain't as approachable as my frens. Or rather do they look upon mi as their daughter or jus a kid they dun intend to haf & lock mi up like a prisoner? i can't seem to figure out their love for mi. i can't feel it at all. Never once in my whole 19 years of life i see them telling mi how much they love mi. Maybe i'm jus not worth their love..maybe i shud jus fade away..

*ploops on da chair* Hehs O.o Jus got home frm party. Went Devils 1st. WOW! Changed..Devils renovated. i din noe abt it. Now entry is at da other side & da chillout lounge is at da ground level. Going up da spiral stairs will bring u to da "Live Band" arena. Cool decor & design! It's Halloween today & many peeps wore their costumes but it's nothing, compared to Zouk's party! Met up wif Jon & Barlow bro @ Devils. Played 5-10 wif Jon & lost horribly man! Oh...he's a real gud player! =D Hmms..went over Zouk to haf a look at da peeps. Well, Zouk's da place wif all da happening peeps in funny, weird..unexpected costumes. It's a hella lotsa variety! Da staff dressed themselves up too! Got to see Angels, Devils, Witches, Vampies..blah blah blah..almost every part in Zouk! Best of all, got to see a whole bunch of insane peeps in Starwars or Startrek suits! Jus like da whole family. Hahaha! Den i saw this angmoh wif a half-black-half-white face. LOL! Reminds mi of Zhong Wu Yan! =X Still got peeps cosplayed vampies wif tailsman in front of their forehead! BUWAHAHA! Another jus like chinadoll, wif 2 red circles on her cheeks! LOLOLOL! Was kinda exciting to see such crazy peeps in those costumes. It's once a year..so it's a terrific experience for mi! Saw Fiona Xie in Velvet & i waved to her. She's so...hrmms..dao! LOL! =X But she's a petite pretty lass i wud say. Hurhur! =P~

Did a quiz...

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


i think i cheated thou i realli answer every question truthfully. No one's perfect. Or am i realli perfect. HAHA! Wot a joke i'm cracking. *blehs* =P

yiyi
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